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A month later in LA, Allison shows up in Kate’s life again this time riding in on her motorcycle. Kate once again joined Allison on the tour and they fell in love. And true to form, they found themselves converging on DC from different places with all their things in a U-Haul. (Just try and tell me you haven’t heard that one before!).
Like many of us their lives were influenced and interrupted by world events. They got married in Southern California during the brief period before Prop 8 was passed. They left the United States during the first Trump administration fearing their LGBTQ+ rights were in jeopardy.
Their initial attempts to grow their family were put on hold during the global COVID pandemic, but they were committed to becoming parents despite the difficulties.
Once the travel bans were lifted, Allison went to New York to get her motorcycle and resume life as normal (or as normal as it could be), but when she returned she didn’t look well.
She was soon diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
Kate assumed this would be the end of their journey toward becoming parents, but Allison insisted that Kate continue with their plans.
With Allison in the hospital battling cancer, Kate got the test results that they had been waiting for. She was pregnant and faced with the terrible choice of whether or not to let Allison know and how to do it at the worst possible time.
“I had the blood test across from the hospital ward that Allison was in and missed five calls telling me I was pregnant. The 6 week scan took place on 19th January 2024, so I was able to show Allison a photo of our little Bow bean. A month later on February 19th, Allison passed away peacefully at home. I was the unluckiest and luckiest person at the same time.”
Kate lost Allison when she wasn’t quite three months pregnant. Widowed, alone and thousands of miles from her family in England.
This is the weight of what Kate was carrying when she and Bow came to Camp Tockwough.
“Going through what I went through and being so isolated during my pregnancy and parenthood. I haven’t been myself, especially after losing Allison after 17 years together. I was split in half, Bow made me whole, but I was very anxious… I felt like I was arriving to a family get together where everyone just knew me, even though they didn’t. You held hands in a circle with Bow and me in the middle and you all just came and embraced me and said ‘it’s ok Kate, we’ve got you.’”
She immediately found a community of people waiting to welcome them with open arms.
This is the very best of what Rainbow Families can be. No stats or anecdotes I have ever seen can tell you why our work matters better than this.
Can you make a contribution to your End of Year fundraising drive to help us make life-changing moments like this in 2026 and beyond?
As Kate said better than I can, “Sometimes you don’t know what you need and if you had asked me if I needed [Rainbow Families], I would have likely said ”no thanks I haven’t got time!”… that word “families” is at the core of what you do. It would be like saying you don’t need a family; everyone needs a family… you need to be part of this group. The sense of belonging that Rainbow Families brings with it is critical, more than ever perhaps.”
This is why we do what we do. For every family but especially for families like Kate, Allison, and Bow’s.
Your support means everything to us at this critical time for families like ours. Can we count on you to make a gift to our End of Year fund with this story in mind?
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